A puzzled look became more and more plastered to my face as my already dizzy with questions brain was trying to sort out reality and dreams. “That was far too vivid to be a dream… but where I am now tells me it must’ve been…” I raised one hand and rested it on my forehead and eye. Just at that moment the nurse walked in rather rudely with a food trolley. Not that I was in any mood to be eating right then. “Sleep well Mrs Cross?” she said with a smile. “It’s hard to say… I had the most terr-… did you just call me Mrs Cross?”… My lips separated once again with utter confusion. “It’s those doctors you see mi love, they think you’re more fragile then ye actually are. I means how’s a nice young lass like you going to work out every single detail without a little jog eh?” She went along her usually way serving me my food whilst tutting away and mumbling about doctors. “Do you know much about me?” I said with the slightest hint of optimism in my voice. “You’ll see.” She said with a little wink whilst slinking out the door.
I wasn’t quite sure what to do with myself at that point in time. Like a vegetable I just sat there staring into nothingness trying to reach into the deepest memories of my mind to at least find out my first name. Every second not knowing who I was felt as if when I woke up I had a poison sleeping in my vanes going up to my brain and slowing killing the person I so wanted to remember. Like I was losing myself. Days passed and weeks along with them. The world was changing around me and yet I stayed the same. The same dream repeated itself night after night. I was so determined to catch him. The doctors told me it was normal after ‘such events’ as he called them to suffer graphic nightmares. To me though this was a nightmare. All I could do was sit and wonder. I’d ask the doctors over and over “Why haven’t my family come?” but there was never a response. Just a man unable to make eye contact with a woman in a woefully reliant state. But one day I had to ask. I had to know.
It had been a month. A long cold month. All the doctors gathered in my room again. “Miss Cro-“
“It’s Mrs Cross apparently.” I cut him off firmly. Anger was already sending shivers down my arms about being lied to. I wanted to know the truth.
“Ah yes nurse Heather informed you of that did she not?”
“Yes. She did. Why have you been lying to me then?” More and more anger building.
“Again it was a case of how fragile you were. You have suffered very harsh circumstances. But now I and the other consultants have been discussing a few things and we think your brain has stabilized enough for us to tell you a very small amount about yourself. At least what we have on file that is.” He said in his usual emotionless voice.
“Please tell me then. I’ve been so scared.”
He left the room along with a few other emotionless looking doctors; I swear they just stand there like his personal pencil case. Leaving one. Standing very tall at the end of the room, in his white coat holding the little file. It shocked me to see my whole name on the front of it. Infact it gave me that same gut wrenching feeling I had a week ago. Just far more frightening. Gave me the feeling both sides of my head had been smashed in leaving the middle intact and focusing on the aching pain around. “Your name is Ofelia Grace Cross. Your 28. The current date now is the 16th of February 2009. Your birthday is July 18th. Yes you are married. That’s all I can tell you for now I’m afraid…” He said with a painful look written in his eyes.
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